Sid's Primitive Field Trip
by French class
Summary: Sid the Science Kid/Dinosaur Train crossover. Sid goes on a field trip to Brachiosaurus Gardens.
1. Sid, Breakfast Time!

The show begins with Tiny Pteranodon dancing and singing "Every Dinosaur Poops". Suddenly, the film stops. Sid's grandma walks up and gives the audience a message.

"Hello, there. I am-" The screen briefly cuts to static. "-but you might know me as Sid's grandma. Now, you may have heard of a Dinosaur Train episode called 'Dinosaur Poop!'. Well, we're gonna air an unabridged version with Sid the Science Kid from the show's point of view! And I'm the main character! So sit back, keep that popcorn in reach, and enjoy the show!

* * *

**SID THE SCIENCE KID**

**SID'S PRIMITIVE FIELD TRIP**

**FEAT. DINOSAUR TRAIN AND FUN.**

**AND REAL SPORTSCASTERS**

**AND JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE AS ZEKE**

**AND YOUNG EMMA WATSON AS ISABEL MCNAIR**

* * *

Sid the Science Kid was excited in his room today. He introduced himself for the 50th time. "Hey, I'm Sid! I'm so excited!"

_Yeah, what made it obvious? You're literally jumping off the walls._

Sid gave Dr. Beaks a big kick. Rocks flew out of his body in slow motion to add effect.

"Guess what? Today, we're going on a field trip! We're going to the past, in the Jurassic Period!"

Sid pressed the "Ooooh" button on his microphone. "Yeah, I know!"

Suddenly, Sid's mom called. "Sid, breakfast time!"

"Not now, Mom, I'm on the toilet!" Sid responded, even though he wasn't really. He continued. "There'll be a HUGE-"

Too bad you can't go because you hyperextended your arm. Oh, he's healing. Healing very quickly... faster than an octopus can camouflage...

"-picnic, and we'll play with a real Brachiosaur-"

"Sid, breakfast time!"

"I'm on the crapper!" He got quieter. "Anyways-"

"Sid, I've got some perfectly good waffles here and I'll burn them if you don't come here right now!"

"But I'm on the-"

"I'LL FORCE YOU OFF THE TOILET IF YOU DON'T COME DOWN RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

Sid accepted defeat. "OK," Sid sighed. He ran downstairs, as usual. "BREAKFAST TIIIII-" He tripped and fell. "Augh, OK. IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME! Hey, Mom!"

"Here's your burnt waffles, Sid. I hope you're happy with yourself," Sid's mom said as she handed Sid a plate of waffle batter.

"Uh, Mom," Sid complained. "These waffles aren't burnt. They aren't even cooked."

I think the author made that point clear, Mr. Redundant.

"Oh, yeah...! I forgot to tell you that it's Opposite Day!"

"Cool! I mean, Lame!" Sid corrected himself. "Anyways, Mom, we're going on a field trip! I'm going to the Jurassic Period! There's a picnic, and a playdate with some random guy named Ned! Plus, we get to ride the bus!"

Sid's dad chimed in. "Yeah, but, how else will you get there? You can't take the car, and you can't walk. It's impossible without being blown to smithereens, and no one will know where you are! No one even knows you exist!"

"It'll be so fun! Sucks Zeke couldn't go..."

"Hey, where is Zeke, anyways?" Sid's dad asked.

* * *

Zeke was in the closet, intervening with Philbert as usual.

"And if you tell anyone about Melinda, I'll kill the cat and eat all of its food."

"OK. And if you tell anyone what happened to me, I'll eat all the poop in your diaper and slobber all over your nookie."

"We're cool."

"Yeah."

"But I still told Spot."

* * *

Back in the kitchen, Sid's parents were making sure that Sid had everything.

"Do you have your lunch?"

"Yeah! I have my sandwich and my banana!"

"Is that what happened to all of my bananas? 'Cause I had one here 2 weeks ago, and now it's gone!"

"Oh..." Sid remembered back to "My Mushy Banana". His flashback included Sid mashing his banana in the bowl. Sid pulled out an unmashed brown-and-mushy banana afterwards. The flashback ends, and we see Sid, in a squirrel costume, nibbling on his old banana quietly. "Nom nom nom, I'm so hungry." He got up, in his clothes.

"Do you have your backpack?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have your Philbert?"

Sid saw Philbert hanging on his backpack. "Uh, yes..."

"That doesn't go there, silly!"

Sid was laughing getting Philbert off of his backpack.

"OK, Sid. Most importantly," Sid's parents said this one together, "Did you go potty?"

"Guys, I was on the toilet for, like, 15 minutes!"

"What's that thing you're doing with your legs?" Sid's dad asked.

"Were you faking that?" Sid's mom added on.

"No way, couldn't be!"

"Why is your hand over your groin?"

"Sid, you're sick."

"No, Mom! Feel my forehead!"

"OK," Sid's mom replied. She felt his forehead, and a gray spot appeared on his pants.

"What's that gray spot doing there?"

"Sweat."

"Sid, change your pants. Go to the bathroom."

Sid's gray spot got larger. "OK!" He went into his room and came out with bell bottoms.

"Sid, why are you wearing my college pants?"

"Because they were the only ones I had!"

"Fine,,," Sid's mom said as they went into the car. Sid sang his "I Love My Mom" song with twisted lyrics.

* * *

I hate my mom (nuh-uh)

My mom is butt (nuh uh)

But now it's time for boring stuff at school! WUT!

* * *

Then Sid sang his "Looking For My Friends" song with normal lyrics. I think we all know how that one goes.


	2. Less Talk, More Time-Space!

**AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE SID SURVEY!**

* * *

"Hey, Gabriella! Guess what day it is?"

"HUMP DAY!"

"Yeah!"

Gerald chimed in. "HUMP DAY!"

Suzy facepalmed as she exited the school building to give her class exciting news. "Hey, class! Today's a special day! We're having class outside!"

"Yay!" everyone cheered. But Suzy had more news.

"Because inside wasn't invented yet!"

"Huh?" everyone wondered.

"We're going to the Jurassic!"

Gerald was confused. "What's the Jurassic Period?"

"The Jurassic is a time period in the Mesozoic Era," Suzy answered.

"What's the Mesozoic-"

Suzy cut him off. "Let's get on the bus!"

She began to sing the "Field Trip" song. As they boarded the bus, Gabriella looked sort of suspicious about Teacher Suzy for some reason.

* * *

On the bus, the kids were sitting down while Teacher Suzy walked around expecting tickets from people. "Tickets! Tickets, please!"

She neared Sid as he asked, "Why do we need tickets?"

He then noticed Suzy's fingertips, which seemed to be sprouting claws. "Did you get your nails done?"

Suzy noticed Sid's bell bottoms. "Are you wearing your mom's college pants?"

Sid asked once again, "Why do we need tickets?"

Suzy answered simply, "Just follow along." Sid gave her an old ticket stub from his trip to the Underworld.

"Ooh, Brachiosaurus Gardens!" Suzy pretended. " Are you going to the Brachiosaurus Brunch?"

"Yeah, we all are," Sid replied. "We brought our picnic lunches."

He held up an iPod. "I brought 'Carry On'," Sid said, in referral to the Fun. song playing on his iPod.

"I brought fish!" Gerald said, eating a whole entire fish.

"Gerald, you're not supposed to eat fish heads."

"Oh-" An outhouse on a black/white swirling background was superimposed on the image, accompanied by a raspberry noise.

May chimed in at random. "Teacher Suzy, are we allowed to use cell phones on the bus?"

"Why?"

"Because Gabriella's using one right now."

Gabriella was using her 2008-style bulky smartphone that functioned like it came out of a James Bond movie.

She was studying a clip from Teacher Suzy's "Field Trip" song.

"Oh, yes."

Meanwhile, Teacher Suzy was teaching Sid and Gerald about herbivores.

"They eat vegetables, which means they're herbivores! And they're 'herbi-voracious'!"

Sid and Gerald just stared at Teacher Suzy as the effect failed to sink in. "Awkward..." Gerald said after about 8 seconds.

Teacher Suzy just laughed. "I was just telling a Teacher Suzy joke!"

Suddenly, Zeke was right next to her. "Hey!" Zeke said. "Do you want to know what happened to Philbert last night?"

"What?" Teacher Suzy asked.

"Well..." Zeke started whispering in her ear.

"What do you mean he pspspspspspsps? Anyways, 'voracious' means 'hungry'."

"I guess that's where the suffix '-vore' came from," Sid mumbled.

Teacher Suzy continued, and she turned on a TV with a Brachiosaurus and a train car full of vegetables. "You need a lot of food to keep that big body going! Why, in one day, a single Brachiosaurus could eat enough greens to fill a train car!"

"What about one in a relationship?" Sid asked, not knowing that wasn't what Teacher Suzy was getting at.

"I don't care! I brought soda!" Gerald said, opening a bottle of Pepsi and taking a yoctoscopic sip of soda. He then went on a total rampage across the bus.

Gabriella just ignored him. "Are those your mom's college pants?" Gabriella asked, noticing Sid's bell bottoms.

Gerald made a short, sugar-induced rap. "You ain't wearin' yo mamma's pants!" He began to run again.

Gerald's randomness and attitude like Crash from "Crash and Bernstein" rubbed on everyone else.

* * *

[A/N] "Crash and Bernstein" and all characters, settings, and elements are trademarks of the Walt Disney Company. All rights reserved.

* * *

Gabriella quoted from "Thrift Shop" by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. "Is that your grandma's coat?" She giggled.

Sid seemed unaffected. He still had a question, though. "Teacher Suzy, does Brachiosaurus dance when they have to go, or are they too big?"

"You'll have to ask come time!" Teache Suzy answered simply. "Speaking of, here comes the portal!"

* * *

Portal time!

* * *

Everyone got crazy! Gerald danced Gangnam Style, Gabriella studied hard, ane May shot lazers out of her forehead.

"I feel queasy," Sid complained.

"I like it," May replied.

"We're here!" Teacher Suzy announced. The bus landed on flat ground.

Sid's grandma hung on to the back of the bus. "They'll never know..."


End file.
